The word that wives hate to hear

1 Peter 3:1-7

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

There it is. The word that wives hate to hear: submit. Trust me when I say this--I am no expert at being a wife. Haha. I think I do well... but I am waiting to be called a "virtuous wife."

I feel like this conversation has come up time and time again & I've heard a lot of the same thing, "If my husband loved me the way Christ loves the Church, it would be easier to submit to him." When we read Ephesians 5, it isn't a condition. "Wives be subject to your own husbands..." (not) "...if he loves you as Christ loves the church." It just is. We are called to do so. Commanded to do so.

There are times when I totally fail at the whole listening thing. I blow off requests DJ makes. I weigh those requests... what is acceptable to me? What would I rather do? What's easiest to swallow? I make a lot of excuses for my I decide to follow him one day and not another.

Then I had this thought... if I want DJ to be the head of this household. If I want him to lead me. If I want him to reflect the way Jesus loves the Church, then I have to let him. In the requests that seem petty, small, unimportant... if I can't allow him to lead me in those requests, how can I expect him to lead me in the bigger picture? Not because he isn't capable, but because I don't let him?


I want to be led.
I want to completely trust my husband.
I want him to speak for me.
(Because... let's face it ladies, when DJ and I stand before Jesus, he will give an account for me. He is responsible for me. And that. Feels. Like. Freedom-but more on that in a later post.)

&& How can I make such bold statements when I fail to want the small things? I want my husband to protect me. I want him to worry about me. I want him to cherish me. && When he does those things (in whatever ways he does), I should simply... rejoice.

Philippians 4:4-8
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Father God help me to be the woman You have always intended me to be. Continue to seek after me, because I know your commands, I know your promises. Help me to love like You do, see the way You see, and serve the way Your Son served. Thank you for your forgiveness, compassion, and example. Bless this marriage. Give strength to the women who struggle to surrender it all to You and trust. In your Son's name I pray. Amen.

Countdown Starts

DJ will be home soon. :) I miss him.

J* Fever

Watch Jasmine Star has been on the tips of everyone's tongue this week because of her course on CreativeLive.com. The more I am listening to her talk--not just about photography, but life and her husband--it makes me love them more!!


Just throwing it out there Jasmine, I think we will be great friends one day.

Why do I think that, the reader may ask?? Let me tell you the ways, haha.

1) So first off. I freakin love her energy. Her excitement. You hear it in her voice. You can just tell that she just plain enjoys life.

2) Jesus. God. Holy Spirit. I love that she loves Jesus. (DJ's older brothers use to go to Calvary Chapel Montebello, and I've listened to Pastor Panch on iTunes. We all love Jesus. and I love it!!)

3) Bianca!! I LOVE Bianca (Jasmine's twin sister). If you haven't read her blog, Bianca is an amazing woman of God and I love her blog. Check it out. Because you can. The internet is awesome.

4) Our husbands. Listening to Jasmine talk about JD made me slip into a mild depression because I miss my hubby. Haha.

(OH! Here is weird flip number four and a quarter and four and a half!!) (You are going to laugh. Because I did. Hard.)

Jasmine is Mexican, JD is kind of an Asian, HAHA!! By kind of I mean half, I think. I am the Asian in the relationship and my hubby is kind of a Mexican, and by that I mean half. AND my hubby's name is DJ. Haha, get it? DJ | JD. LOL. I know... nerdy. But really... how could I not address that? LOL.

And four and three quarters: DJ is also going to be a great second shooter. Despite the fact that he is in Afhghanistan right now--when Jasmine was talking about JD and how he is a chameleon, he puts people at ease, he just gets along with everyone. That is why I love when he comes on shoots with me now... he really just relaxes the situation. When we start doing weddings--it will be glorious.

5) Southern Californians just get along. Especially over In-N-Out. :)


So one day. Some day. We will be friends. Great ones. Hahah.



I am soooo in love with the Photo Community to be able to be a part of something like Create Live. It's such a great, great, great way for photographers to learn AND FOR FREE!! Love it!!!

Mr&Mrs Lebron

Two weeks into our 'relationship' DJ's brother, Manny, asked us, "What are your intentions for each other?" Two weeks in, I looked at him and wondered, "Seriously?" It probably showed on my face cause he went on to say, "I know you guys don't want to label it or whatever, but it's good to know what your intentions are because it lays out the boundaries in your relationship." We didn't answer him, we just looked at him. Haha.

A week after that, I asked DJ on the phone, "So, what are your intentions?" (If I ever turn our lives into a movie, this line is definitely in it.) He answered, "I want to be your first love and your last love. Whether that means right now till forever, or right now, and later in life, we end up together. Either way, I'm yours and you are mine."

GOOD one, right!?

So in three weeks, our intentions were to end up together, whatever that meant. (Probably less than that. We were at a marriage retreat and the chaplain asked, "How many of you, when you met your wife, knew, just knew without a doubt, that she would be your wife?" DJ and the chaplain were the only ones that rose their hand.)

I thought about it all and I was--very realistic--two teenagers in "love" and want to be together "forever." YEAH, right!! Haha, sucker!! You're crazy. (I think the thoughts went something like that...haha.)

But I wanted to be a good girlfriend, a great girlfriend. I went to Barnes and Noble, looking for a good Christian Dating book. I reached for things like Boundaries in Dating, Boy Meets Girl, etc, but you know what I eneded up buying?? The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace. Haha.

My logic was...
WHAT IS THE BEST KIND OF GIRLFRIEND!?
A WIFE!!

So I read the book. I would reccommend this book to ALL engaged ladies. Actually to ALL ladies!! Everyone!! If you ever want to get married, if you are already are married, just pick it up! It is a great book. It taught me so much about selfless love, biblical living, and submission, uh-oh, I said it... submission to GOD. My relationship with God grew so much as I learned what it was to be a biblical wife.

I've read a lot of marriage books. A lot. Why? I don't know... because I want to be a know-it-all, or I am just interested in the relationship. I am marriage's biggest cheerleader. I absolutely love it when people get married, I love it when they celebrate anniversaries, and my heart breaks, totally crushing, when marriages fall apart. And with all the marriage books that I've read, all the bits and pieces of wisdom that I have picked up have only prepared me, given me a taste of what marriage is ACTUALLY like.

Living this life with this man in this marriage is... a refining fire.

Yes. I said it. I called my marriage a fire. Not a pretty garden, not a summer's night stroll on the beach, not pretty roses and chocolates. This marriage has been a refining fire, it has been iron sharpening iron, it has been filled with brokenness, humiliating circumstances, anger, forgiveness, passion, weakness, adoration, failures, love, disciplining, triumphant victory.

Marriage is hard.
Marriage is trying.
Marriage takes so, so, so much trust in God.

Even in the worse situations, the only, simple, overbearing fact that God is good and He loves me, has been enough to conquer my fears and insecurities. And because He loves DJ, I can forgive. I can serve. I can submit. I can rejoice. Because He is in control, I can let go. Because He is sovereign, I can accept. Because He is faithful, I have hope.

God is the only sure thing in marriage. It's the only sure thing in life. It is the only constant.

In those amazing days where all is right in the world--God is good, He is in control, He is sovereign, and He is faithful.
In those days marked with suffering and pain--God is good, He is in control, He is soverign, and He is faithful.

In my first year of marriage, I picked up Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Marriage. I read the first two chapters and stopped reading it, because as a Newlywed, here was a man that was talking about how some days... I will hate my husband. And some days he won't be able to stand me. I thought, "What is this madness! This isn't a marraige book!"

In Year Four of marriage, I picked up the book again.
And I understood it.

In my humanity, in my flesh, in my sin, I am not a loving person. I am flawed. I am angry. I have trust issues. I am selfish. It is only with the power of the Holy Spirit that I see that marriage includes the entire spectrum of emotion and in this refining fire, I am being taught, DJ is being taught to be a servant in God's kingdom. We are living out the relationship that God intends us to have with Him.

So we fail, we falter, we stumble--and God is good, He is incontrol, He is soverign, and He is faithful, and He holds our hand, He strengthens our weak knees and sets us back up on the path He's laid down for us.

I love this Man and the man that He made for me. I thank my God every single day for the opportunity to love and serve. I thank God for DJ and this marriage and all it has taught me, molded me, transformed my viewpoints.


And what I want to tell all you wives today is this:

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
(1 Peter 4:8)

Love each other deeply. Earnesetly. Fervently. And that will cover, overshadow, conquer everything else. :)

God bless you all.



EDIT | Book Reccomendations

Love and Respect
Sacred Marriage
The Excellent Wife
Sacred Influence
Champagne for the Soul
The Power of a Praying Wife
For Women Only

One Thing I Know

I love him.

When I grow up I want to be...

My version of who Bianca Juarez is.

Ahhh!! So today, I found Bianca's first week of the Summer Series: The Scandalous Message of James. And I was so encouarged by what she said and inspired by how she speaks, what she speaks and the Word of God pouring out of her... I went and iStalked her on iTunes.

In my quest, I found something recent she did that was posted on Vertical Video Podcast with Nate Heitzig, Triune Purity. Ahh!! This is seriously something that I wish I could have heard when I was in high school. And you hear it in her voice, that conviction, that passion, and the truth. I am so inspired by her passion. The urgency in her voice.



Thank you Bianca for the encouragement, the boldness, and the example of what it means to truly live out the Gospel. For showing me how to walk, talk, preach and teach in the name of LOVE.

God is doing awesome things for this generation!! I have been watching a change in the wind here in the Church, all of God's Church. I am so excited to be a part of the next generation. And I say it over and over again: I am excited to be allowed to be a part of this story God is writing. I look around at the students I get the privilege to meet, enter their lives... and I freakin' love them! I don't think I tell them enough (or even at all) how excited I am for them and what they are capable of.

So everyone--let's step up, shall we?



EDIT | I am a 20-something


Today I was told that I was young. I mentioned my love and desire for youth and women's ministry and in a roundabout way, I was told, "Hold your horses, you are too young. Wisdom comes with age, and you need some more grey hairs." And went further to say that I need to make more mistakes.

While I find the statement valid, I was still frustrated.
I responded with, "I have a story. And I want to tell it. When the time is right."

I was refuted with a, "Your story has just started!"

I found myself even more frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that this person has never heard my story. Ever. They've gotten glimpses of it, and probably assume they know it, but I haven't shared that much with them yet.

It sounded like at the age of 30... I will be ready for ministry. That's when Jesus started. That is the supposed age of Timothy when Paul told him not to let anyone despise his youth. (I say 'supposed' because I have also heard 17, either way, I don't care, the fact is that he was encouraged.) And on and on I was told that I had to make mistakes, we all make mistakes in our youth. We think we know it all, we think we are mature, we don't see the need for mentors.

(Trust me. I have seen the need and have learned so much from older, wiser, more mature women of Christ.) I am young. Yes. But I still have a story to tell. I think wisdom comes with the exercising of my faith, not with the number of my age.

Thirty. That's six-seven years from now. Do I think I will be used then? Probably. Do I think I can be used now? Definitely. In the course of six to seven years a lot can and will change. But right now, in this moment--my voice, my story, my heart is to serve the military community. How I do it-- I am leaving to God. When I do it--I am leaving to God. The desire of my heart is to serve this community and God's allowed me to do it.

I was still frustrated at the end of the conversation. Even when I agreed completely with the fact that we need those mentors in our lives, we need the seasons where we sit and learn and listen, we need to be still so that God can teach us, so that we can discern what happens next. I agreed with it all, but I was still frustrated.

I did not want to be wrapped up and categorized with his story.

I've been broken down, I've been tested, I've suffered, I've rejoiced, I've learned, I've sat, I've listenend, I've been surrounded by events and people who have interacted with this story God's been writing. I take pride in my standing with Jesus--I am a daughter of God. I am called to be a saint. I am a warrior for God.

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9

The difference in mentality is that he saw his youth as a weakness, "I am still going to make mistakes."

I see God using me where I am. A 23 year-old Army wife. I am focused on the Gospel and the promises of hope and eternity. I am chosen. I am royal. I am holy... because I am God's. I am called to belong to him. I am called to be a saint. I am young, and I love it.

On my 19th birthday I got to go on a missions trip to Mexico with the church. I wasn't married to DJ yet, but his aunt and uncle were helping lead the trip down. They pulled me aside to tell me how lucky I was to have started that relationship and have that surity in Jesus at such a young age, because they didn't realize they needed him till they were 30.

I embrace my youth.
Even more so... I embrace the time God's given me to know him. To work with him.
I embrace my story.
I am not ashamed.
I AM NOT ASHAMED.

Neighborhood watch?

So I was online talking to my brother-in-law and I got a Skype message. Skype SPAM! (I HATE Skype Spam!) And I usually don't think anything of it, it's always an invitation to go see sexy pictures and webcams. This, however, THIS made me so mad. Because I take marriage SO seriously. (I am marriage's biggest cheearleader.)



What kind of world is this becoming?? I know it gets worse, I know it could be worse. I remember back in California, we went to Hollywood to eat some Roscoes and there was a billboard that made me do a double take, "Life's shrot. Have an affair." ARE YOU SERIOUS?! It kills me. KILLS me to see people around me complain, and cry, and leave their marriages because it wasn't what they envisioned, or what they wanted. As a military wife, we see SO MUCH marital drama. I've gone through marital drama! But the difference between the two was: Jesus.

My marriage and the decisions that we make are not fueled by what we envision for our marriage. Because what GOD envisions for our marriage is so much more than what we could want. I kind of feel like I am talking these big Christian phrases and no one will take me seriously, or maybe they think I take it too seriosuly?

But my response: I DON'T CARE. Someone has to start caring, someone needs to start standing up for marriage. When there is crime in the area, neighbors get together and start watching each other's backs, posessions, etc. I want to start a neighborhood watch for marriage!!

Author Gary Thomas poses this qusetion, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy??" Not to say that marriage doesn't make us happy, but the ultimate goal is to be holy, happiness is just a byproduct. What are some examples of being holy?? Unconditional love. Unconditional RESPECT. (Oh, whoa, whoa, ladies, can we say that we respect our men unconditionally!? Nuts!) True forgiveness. Fidelity. Financial trust in God. Provision.

The relationship of a husband and wife is the same as the relationship Jesus has with the church. Would it be fair to say that our marriages reflect where we are in our relationship with God?! I could confess to that. The times when I felt sad, neglected, alone, etc. those were the times when I realized that THAT is what JESUS felt about ME. When I was pining after DJ's presence in my life (but the Army wanted him elsewhere), Jesus was yearning for fellowship with ME. When I asked angrily, "What about me!?!" Jesus cried out to ME!

When I refuse to offer up my respect to DJ. I refuse it to Jesus. When I roll my eyes in annoyance... I am rollng my eyes to God's command for 'wives to respect your husbands.' When I come up with excuses for my behavior, when I try to justify why I just said what I said to DJ, I am trying to reason with God, "I know it's wrong, but you didn't hear how he..." There are no BUTS in Christ.

Forgiveness! ONE of my biggest issues, and DJ said something that convicted me, he asked, "Why do you dwell on all the negative things? Stop living in the past, stop bringing all the bad things back. Jesus won't bring it back up." SO CONVICTING. Women, we do these things!! Haha!! We have amazing memories. And we can keep lists, long, long lists of "You should have done...Remember when you...That one tme you..." 1) Have you forgiven him? 2) When you did, do you continue to bring it back up!? Because that's not true forgiveness. Trust me, this is something that I have struggled with. Now that DJ is in Afghanistan... the opportunity to slip back into that habit is limited, but I am praying that I can CHANGE that, I can learn and practice REAL and TRUE forgiveness.

In our everyday life ladies... how can we learn to be Excellent Wives*? How can we be that 'virtuous wife' that Proverbs 31 speaks of? How do we live a life according to our calling to be saints?

Notice that I did not ask, "How can we change our husbands?" I cannot do anything to change my husband, and it's not my place to. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to convict, to move, to work in our lives--and so the Holy Spirit will take care of it, my call is to be a saint, to belong to Jesus Christ. I am to obey God's statutes, live the Gospel.

Matthew 7:1-5, "Why do you notice the speck in your brother's eye when you've got a log in your own eye!? ...First take the log out of your own eye so you can see clearly the speck in your brother's." (That was my paraphrase, please go and keep me in check.) We have logs. Giant logs. And we should be concerned about that. YOUR log. What are your logs? How can we get rid of them??

*The Excellent Wife is a great book to pick up. It is a biblical view on the role of the Wife in a marriage. I read it maybe a month into dating DJ. (Because when I asked him in week 3 what his intentions were for us he answered, "I want to be your first love and your last love. Whether that means now till forever, or if that means now and later on, I am going to be yours. And you're going to be mine." Whoa. Right!? Haha, my mind was blown, this boy is nuts! Haha!! But I wanted to know what that meant, I picked up this book, just becaues it was red... and it seemed interesting, I thought, "I want to be a good Christian girlfirend. So... a good girlfriend is a wife! LOL! HAHAH, I know, I don't understand the logic either, but... hey, I married the man, and here we are! Haha.)


Let's start a neighbor hood watch for our marriages. Keep each other encouraged. Keep each other accountable to the Word of God. Keep each other focused on the race: Jesus.