Praise God

Today I am thankful because... In a crowd full of faces, He sees me.
&& It is enough. More than enough.

Countdown Starts

DJ will be home soon. :) I miss him.

J* Fever

Watch Jasmine Star has been on the tips of everyone's tongue this week because of her course on CreativeLive.com. The more I am listening to her talk--not just about photography, but life and her husband--it makes me love them more!!


Just throwing it out there Jasmine, I think we will be great friends one day.

Why do I think that, the reader may ask?? Let me tell you the ways, haha.

1) So first off. I freakin love her energy. Her excitement. You hear it in her voice. You can just tell that she just plain enjoys life.

2) Jesus. God. Holy Spirit. I love that she loves Jesus. (DJ's older brothers use to go to Calvary Chapel Montebello, and I've listened to Pastor Panch on iTunes. We all love Jesus. and I love it!!)

3) Bianca!! I LOVE Bianca (Jasmine's twin sister). If you haven't read her blog, Bianca is an amazing woman of God and I love her blog. Check it out. Because you can. The internet is awesome.

4) Our husbands. Listening to Jasmine talk about JD made me slip into a mild depression because I miss my hubby. Haha.

(OH! Here is weird flip number four and a quarter and four and a half!!) (You are going to laugh. Because I did. Hard.)

Jasmine is Mexican, JD is kind of an Asian, HAHA!! By kind of I mean half, I think. I am the Asian in the relationship and my hubby is kind of a Mexican, and by that I mean half. AND my hubby's name is DJ. Haha, get it? DJ | JD. LOL. I know... nerdy. But really... how could I not address that? LOL.

And four and three quarters: DJ is also going to be a great second shooter. Despite the fact that he is in Afhghanistan right now--when Jasmine was talking about JD and how he is a chameleon, he puts people at ease, he just gets along with everyone. That is why I love when he comes on shoots with me now... he really just relaxes the situation. When we start doing weddings--it will be glorious.

5) Southern Californians just get along. Especially over In-N-Out. :)


So one day. Some day. We will be friends. Great ones. Hahah.



I am soooo in love with the Photo Community to be able to be a part of something like Create Live. It's such a great, great, great way for photographers to learn AND FOR FREE!! Love it!!!

Mr&Mrs Lebron

Two weeks into our 'relationship' DJ's brother, Manny, asked us, "What are your intentions for each other?" Two weeks in, I looked at him and wondered, "Seriously?" It probably showed on my face cause he went on to say, "I know you guys don't want to label it or whatever, but it's good to know what your intentions are because it lays out the boundaries in your relationship." We didn't answer him, we just looked at him. Haha.

A week after that, I asked DJ on the phone, "So, what are your intentions?" (If I ever turn our lives into a movie, this line is definitely in it.) He answered, "I want to be your first love and your last love. Whether that means right now till forever, or right now, and later in life, we end up together. Either way, I'm yours and you are mine."

GOOD one, right!?

So in three weeks, our intentions were to end up together, whatever that meant. (Probably less than that. We were at a marriage retreat and the chaplain asked, "How many of you, when you met your wife, knew, just knew without a doubt, that she would be your wife?" DJ and the chaplain were the only ones that rose their hand.)

I thought about it all and I was--very realistic--two teenagers in "love" and want to be together "forever." YEAH, right!! Haha, sucker!! You're crazy. (I think the thoughts went something like that...haha.)

But I wanted to be a good girlfriend, a great girlfriend. I went to Barnes and Noble, looking for a good Christian Dating book. I reached for things like Boundaries in Dating, Boy Meets Girl, etc, but you know what I eneded up buying?? The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace. Haha.

My logic was...
WHAT IS THE BEST KIND OF GIRLFRIEND!?
A WIFE!!

So I read the book. I would reccommend this book to ALL engaged ladies. Actually to ALL ladies!! Everyone!! If you ever want to get married, if you are already are married, just pick it up! It is a great book. It taught me so much about selfless love, biblical living, and submission, uh-oh, I said it... submission to GOD. My relationship with God grew so much as I learned what it was to be a biblical wife.

I've read a lot of marriage books. A lot. Why? I don't know... because I want to be a know-it-all, or I am just interested in the relationship. I am marriage's biggest cheerleader. I absolutely love it when people get married, I love it when they celebrate anniversaries, and my heart breaks, totally crushing, when marriages fall apart. And with all the marriage books that I've read, all the bits and pieces of wisdom that I have picked up have only prepared me, given me a taste of what marriage is ACTUALLY like.

Living this life with this man in this marriage is... a refining fire.

Yes. I said it. I called my marriage a fire. Not a pretty garden, not a summer's night stroll on the beach, not pretty roses and chocolates. This marriage has been a refining fire, it has been iron sharpening iron, it has been filled with brokenness, humiliating circumstances, anger, forgiveness, passion, weakness, adoration, failures, love, disciplining, triumphant victory.

Marriage is hard.
Marriage is trying.
Marriage takes so, so, so much trust in God.

Even in the worse situations, the only, simple, overbearing fact that God is good and He loves me, has been enough to conquer my fears and insecurities. And because He loves DJ, I can forgive. I can serve. I can submit. I can rejoice. Because He is in control, I can let go. Because He is sovereign, I can accept. Because He is faithful, I have hope.

God is the only sure thing in marriage. It's the only sure thing in life. It is the only constant.

In those amazing days where all is right in the world--God is good, He is in control, He is sovereign, and He is faithful.
In those days marked with suffering and pain--God is good, He is in control, He is soverign, and He is faithful.

In my first year of marriage, I picked up Gary Thomas' book, Sacred Marriage. I read the first two chapters and stopped reading it, because as a Newlywed, here was a man that was talking about how some days... I will hate my husband. And some days he won't be able to stand me. I thought, "What is this madness! This isn't a marraige book!"

In Year Four of marriage, I picked up the book again.
And I understood it.

In my humanity, in my flesh, in my sin, I am not a loving person. I am flawed. I am angry. I have trust issues. I am selfish. It is only with the power of the Holy Spirit that I see that marriage includes the entire spectrum of emotion and in this refining fire, I am being taught, DJ is being taught to be a servant in God's kingdom. We are living out the relationship that God intends us to have with Him.

So we fail, we falter, we stumble--and God is good, He is incontrol, He is soverign, and He is faithful, and He holds our hand, He strengthens our weak knees and sets us back up on the path He's laid down for us.

I love this Man and the man that He made for me. I thank my God every single day for the opportunity to love and serve. I thank God for DJ and this marriage and all it has taught me, molded me, transformed my viewpoints.


And what I want to tell all you wives today is this:

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
(1 Peter 4:8)

Love each other deeply. Earnesetly. Fervently. And that will cover, overshadow, conquer everything else. :)

God bless you all.



EDIT | Book Reccomendations

Love and Respect
Sacred Marriage
The Excellent Wife
Sacred Influence
Champagne for the Soul
The Power of a Praying Wife
For Women Only

REEL TALK: Eat Pray Love

(First off, I wonder if anyone's TM'ed that, "Reel Talk" I think that is pretty freakin' clever.)

So I caught 2/3 of the movie Eat, Pray, Love. I feel like the movie's been on the tips of everyone's tongue lately. I was intrigued by it a few years ago when I think Oprah made a big deal about the book, and you know me-- I never care what Oprah has to say. Haha! So... I never read the book. Intrigued by its title though, but never spent the money on it.

But today, as I had nothing to do today in Sigonella, I went to the other post and got to watch Eat, Pray, Love for a mere $3.

This isn't a movie review, because I'm just me. What do you care what I thought about the movie? Haha, these are simply my thoughts. && I have to be honest, I had preconcieved notions before ever stepping in the theater. The only reason I went to go watch it was to make sure I was right. Haha!!

So, Ms. Elizabeth Gilbert. No offense, I couldn't stand her. Wait, I correct myself: I didn't understand her. Let me tell you why Oprah loved the book, and why so many people read it. This is what that book tells you about American society and culture: We are a country, a people who wants more. Never satisfied. Always searching. Constantly let down by our expectations. This is what America does to people.


EAT | FULLFILLMENT
I don't know why but the scene in which Gilbert is talking to her Publisher about why she needs to take a year off, why she needs to get away sticks in my mind. She talked about how her appitite for life, her passion everything inside her felt empty, there was nothing there.

It made me sad.
&& A little mad.

It made me sad because to feel empty like that sounds scary. It isn't truly something that I can relate to. I know in my senior year of high school I was searching for something, a "Why? What for?" And I was introduced to the idea that I needed Jesus to live the life I am supposed to. It was an interesting new concept, I took it and ran with it... and man do I have stories to tell.

&& It made me mad because in the divorce proceedings, her husband asked her, "I know you want to find yourself, but why not find yourself in our marriage?" My heart broke for him. And I was angry with her because she didn't really answer.

(Ugh, if this movie's latent cause is an influx in divorces, I am going to be so pissed.)

Fullfillment doesn't come from anything other than GOD: the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. The voids we feel are the gaps in our relationship, or lack thereof, with God.


PRAY | FAITH
1) God doesn't like divorce. (Just saying. That was the one scene I saw her pray to God and then she gets up in the same scene and divorces her husband.)

2) Crying out to God in tears--great start. But it's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of thing. When you ask a question, don't you expect an answer? Where do your answers come from? Self-help books? Oprah? Friends? Dr. Phil? I've been told this and have used this example a lot: our prayers to God are like voice mails. And He texts us back answers through His Word. Why ask God a question and look EVERYWHERE else for the answer!?

As I waited for an hour for a bus to arrive to take me to Dover AFB a woman walked up for a few minutes and sat down. She was very friendly. Talkative. She handed me a business card and it had a website on it, I didn't pay much attention to it because I was trying to listen to her talk. I glanced at the tagline on the card, "Buddhism for Modern Living." She talked about their goals, how invovled she and her kids are in the movement, etc. Then she explained that they were all about attaining peace. And she noticed that her bus had arrived. She asked me where I was going and I told her, "Italy. Home." She got excited, started gushing about how she's always wanted to see Italy. And she said as she got her umbrella out and up, "I'll have to chant about that one." And said goodbye and left.

I wished that I had more time to converse with her. Probe. Ask questions. I wanted to know her story and see why she felt like she needed so much peace. I digress. To me it was strange that she said, "I'm going to have to chant about that one." Sounds so strange to me. Mantras and spells are chanted to free your mind of thoughts. How does that get you to Italy? (If you know, tell me, I just want to understand.)

I have thought a lot about what my prayer means to me, and to God. How intimately I can be with God. How much truth there is in a total surrender to His plans and what He wants. In my brokenness, I know that He will provide, heal, and teach. Prayer is that relationship lived out. It is a child speaking to a father, whose intent is to teach, raise, and provide for. (I can go on for days, but I don't want to, this post is getting long enough.)

LOVE | GOD
The word "God" is used quite a few times in this movie. I kept asking myself, "Who are they talking about!?" Then I did some Google-reserach, just reading reviews of the book here and there and I came across this, "Let me explain why I use the word God, when I could easily use the words Jehovah, Allah, Shiva, Brahma, Vishnu or Zeus. Alternatively I could call God 'that'...God is the name that feels the most warm to me, so thats what I use (page 13)." So she answers my question in the begining of her book.

Again, the society that we live in today is looking for SOMETHING. We are a culture full of broken hearts, missing peices, etc. To me this notion is dangerous. It is dangerous because of John 14:6, when Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

So when you are talking about GOD. Make sure you know who you are talking about. When you talk about a higher being, make sure it's THE One.



All in all, the movie confirmed what I thought this book was all about. A journey of a woman who set out to "find herself." Do I think she did it? Sure. For now. But what will her next book be about? And the next?

You reach fulfillment when you acknowledge the place Jesus has in your life. And LET HIM IN. That and that alone. My MySpace (oh, such old news, right?) Bio says, "I love Jesus. Then everything else in my life falls into place." There is nothing harder to decide than to decide to follow Christ and to live the life He's called you to. (It's hard. It's challenging. BUT SO REWARDING.)

Don't settle for any alternatives, friends.

Bucket Lists and Regrets

I am spending time with my, always-faithful, bestest friend, Kimberly Han. I am so glad that I got to squeeze some time in with her. This is the beauty of best-friendship because we can pick up like it hasn't just been three years since we've seen each other and have intellectual, meaningful, weighted conversation. :)

A question she asked, "What is on your bucket list?"
I couldn't answer this right away.

I continued to explain why I haven't thought about making one. (First off, Kim and I are big, big advocates of planning and goal-setting. Stephen Covey would LOVE us. So this isn't an attack on goal-setting by any means.)

To me, when I look at the life I have lived, twenty three years--I am happy. If I died today, I don't think there is anything that I will look back and think, "I wish I could have done..." Everything in my life up until this point, I don't regret.

Do I have goals? Do I have aspirations? Yes... but to me, it is very easy for me to think, "If God wills it, it will happen. If He doesn't will it, who am I to argue with Him?"

I laughed at her question and my inability to simply answer the question and said, "Do you know what I do think about? I don't think about what I want to do or making bucket lists. I think about planning my funeral. It sounds morbid."

I take a lot of consideration into what I want people to feel, hear, and learn from my life. HAHHAHAHA.Que interesting.

To me, bucket lists are for lives that haven't been lived and this to do list is to make sure that life isn't wasted, or whatever. I don't feel like I've wasted anything. I have no regrets. ;)

Now I must go. Time to see STEVEN!!!!

EDIT | Added to this post on 22 August 2010

I just watched Eat, Pray, Love. And I have to say. It was pret-ty awesome sitting in a movie set in beautiful places and think, "Been there. Been there. Done that." Haha. This is why it is so hard for me to come up with a Bucket List. I have had the blessing and opporutnity to see more than my counterparts. I love it. I relish in the fact that I get to visit Italy and go to Venice for dinner.

A Bucket List implies... a fear for missing out in life. I don't think that I have missed anything. And this life is just temporary. Wait till I get to heaven!! Dance party!!!!

One Thing I Know

I love him.