Neighborhood watch?

So I was online talking to my brother-in-law and I got a Skype message. Skype SPAM! (I HATE Skype Spam!) And I usually don't think anything of it, it's always an invitation to go see sexy pictures and webcams. This, however, THIS made me so mad. Because I take marriage SO seriously. (I am marriage's biggest cheearleader.)



What kind of world is this becoming?? I know it gets worse, I know it could be worse. I remember back in California, we went to Hollywood to eat some Roscoes and there was a billboard that made me do a double take, "Life's shrot. Have an affair." ARE YOU SERIOUS?! It kills me. KILLS me to see people around me complain, and cry, and leave their marriages because it wasn't what they envisioned, or what they wanted. As a military wife, we see SO MUCH marital drama. I've gone through marital drama! But the difference between the two was: Jesus.

My marriage and the decisions that we make are not fueled by what we envision for our marriage. Because what GOD envisions for our marriage is so much more than what we could want. I kind of feel like I am talking these big Christian phrases and no one will take me seriously, or maybe they think I take it too seriosuly?

But my response: I DON'T CARE. Someone has to start caring, someone needs to start standing up for marriage. When there is crime in the area, neighbors get together and start watching each other's backs, posessions, etc. I want to start a neighborhood watch for marriage!!

Author Gary Thomas poses this qusetion, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy??" Not to say that marriage doesn't make us happy, but the ultimate goal is to be holy, happiness is just a byproduct. What are some examples of being holy?? Unconditional love. Unconditional RESPECT. (Oh, whoa, whoa, ladies, can we say that we respect our men unconditionally!? Nuts!) True forgiveness. Fidelity. Financial trust in God. Provision.

The relationship of a husband and wife is the same as the relationship Jesus has with the church. Would it be fair to say that our marriages reflect where we are in our relationship with God?! I could confess to that. The times when I felt sad, neglected, alone, etc. those were the times when I realized that THAT is what JESUS felt about ME. When I was pining after DJ's presence in my life (but the Army wanted him elsewhere), Jesus was yearning for fellowship with ME. When I asked angrily, "What about me!?!" Jesus cried out to ME!

When I refuse to offer up my respect to DJ. I refuse it to Jesus. When I roll my eyes in annoyance... I am rollng my eyes to God's command for 'wives to respect your husbands.' When I come up with excuses for my behavior, when I try to justify why I just said what I said to DJ, I am trying to reason with God, "I know it's wrong, but you didn't hear how he..." There are no BUTS in Christ.

Forgiveness! ONE of my biggest issues, and DJ said something that convicted me, he asked, "Why do you dwell on all the negative things? Stop living in the past, stop bringing all the bad things back. Jesus won't bring it back up." SO CONVICTING. Women, we do these things!! Haha!! We have amazing memories. And we can keep lists, long, long lists of "You should have done...Remember when you...That one tme you..." 1) Have you forgiven him? 2) When you did, do you continue to bring it back up!? Because that's not true forgiveness. Trust me, this is something that I have struggled with. Now that DJ is in Afghanistan... the opportunity to slip back into that habit is limited, but I am praying that I can CHANGE that, I can learn and practice REAL and TRUE forgiveness.

In our everyday life ladies... how can we learn to be Excellent Wives*? How can we be that 'virtuous wife' that Proverbs 31 speaks of? How do we live a life according to our calling to be saints?

Notice that I did not ask, "How can we change our husbands?" I cannot do anything to change my husband, and it's not my place to. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to convict, to move, to work in our lives--and so the Holy Spirit will take care of it, my call is to be a saint, to belong to Jesus Christ. I am to obey God's statutes, live the Gospel.

Matthew 7:1-5, "Why do you notice the speck in your brother's eye when you've got a log in your own eye!? ...First take the log out of your own eye so you can see clearly the speck in your brother's." (That was my paraphrase, please go and keep me in check.) We have logs. Giant logs. And we should be concerned about that. YOUR log. What are your logs? How can we get rid of them??

*The Excellent Wife is a great book to pick up. It is a biblical view on the role of the Wife in a marriage. I read it maybe a month into dating DJ. (Because when I asked him in week 3 what his intentions were for us he answered, "I want to be your first love and your last love. Whether that means now till forever, or if that means now and later on, I am going to be yours. And you're going to be mine." Whoa. Right!? Haha, my mind was blown, this boy is nuts! Haha!! But I wanted to know what that meant, I picked up this book, just becaues it was red... and it seemed interesting, I thought, "I want to be a good Christian girlfirend. So... a good girlfriend is a wife! LOL! HAHAH, I know, I don't understand the logic either, but... hey, I married the man, and here we are! Haha.)


Let's start a neighbor hood watch for our marriages. Keep each other encouraged. Keep each other accountable to the Word of God. Keep each other focused on the race: Jesus.