Plentiful

God is good.

I feel so blessed, so honored, so grateful, so privilleged to be a part of my students' lives. Last night I got to see how one simple truth could change lives. One simple truth: JESUS LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE.

Last night was not what I had expected. Not at all.
As I sit here the morning after, I am excited. I am thinking of ways to tell the story. How do I tell people about the amazing work God is doing in the Youth here in Vicenza. I love these students. (If you haven't heard me say it before, I love you friends!)

We had over 100 students and parents at Club last night. ALL of our leaders showed up that night. We turned off the lights and couldn't get them back on. They turned on and warmed up JUST as the kids were counting down with the video. As you can see in the picture above, over fifty students got up when they were faced with this decision: Do you want a relationship, a real relationship with Jesus Christ?

We prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.

God. Is. So. Good.



Matthew 9:36-38 says, "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

Last night God showed us, as Club Leaders that the harvest is plentiful. Afterwards, I was talking with DJ and Laura and how much work we had before us. And DJ said, "Well I don't really have a choice." I thought he meant... he didn't have a choice to be involved because I was involved in Club, so I said, "After seeing what we did tonight..." He finished, "Exactly. After all of this--we don't have a choice." God placed each of us in that gym for a purpose and it is such a blessing to have purpose, to KNOW that this has all be appointed by God and that there is much to do ahead of us.

Thank you God for my story, my role, and my place in Your kingdom. :)

Last night was also a night where God showed me how faithful He is to keep His promises, to show me that He is so good and that He has heard my prayers. It was awesome to see DJ walk around and pray with guys. To see him get phone numbers. To watch how he cared and loved them. God is faithful.




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PRAYER| Colossians 1:28-29

"He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me."

Speechless.

I am overwhelmed by how much He loves me through all of my brokenness, through all of my anger, through all of my failures. :)

Hope?! (When things feel hopeless...)

My heart is heavy.

You know that feeling you get when your stomach feels weird--you aren't nauseated, but you feel, kind of nervious?
Your heartbeat is a little irregular.
You don't know whether or not to smile, cry, shut up, or say something clever, or even better--something Christian.

This is how I feel when my heart is heavy.
When I am faced with something uneasy.
When my friends come to me with problems, questions, issues, etc.
When people tell me their ________ just died.
When people complain about something significant in their life.

I have NO idea what to say.
I just feel... this... heaviness and nervousness.
If I don't say the ''right thing'' then I miss this opportunity.
I feel like I miss the opportunity to say, "God is good."

(I miss the opportunity because tension makes me feel uneasy...)
Doesn't that just sound silly!?


So.
Here it goes.
For everytime that I've sat silent because I felt uncomfortable for saying what I wanted to, what I should have... here it is.


GOD IS GOOD.
We know that God loves us, so much that He sends His Son to die on the Cross for us.
DO YOU BELIEVE IT!? Do you believe that God loves us THAT much?
How does that make you feel?

The fact that our God is a GOOD God puts life's stormiest nights in perspective. He's a master planner and designer. I won't ever doubt God's planning, His judgement, and His timing. Why?? Because He's got my back. I heard a student say today, "I got your back like a chiropractor." Haha!!


Yes. Life may feel like you are treading water in the middle of nowhere right now. But--it gets better. It always does. Because of the FACT that God is good and He loves you. Do you believe that? How does that make you feel?

A lot of the time, our culture is telling us to focus on Number One--you. How does that make you feel? So what are you going to do about it? (Instead of saying, "What is real? What is fact?" then... how does that make you feel?


Friends.
I spent an entire year in 'hiding,' or rather, 'hermit mode.'
I didn't want to open up to anyone. I didn't trust anyone. I was very closed-lipped about a lot of things because it was how I reacted to the unknown, the uncertain.... my own deep-seated insecurities.

And yes--I am fine now.
But if I could do it over again--or rather, if I ever walk through a valley that deep again, trust me, I would do things differently this time around.

Find a mentor to confide in. Someone who isn't there to encourage your neurotic notions and emotions. Someone who isn't afraid to KEEP IT REAL (KIR). Someone who is a sound Christian and will give you advice that is grounded and rooted in God's word. Someone trustworthy. Someone who isn't a malicious gossip (oooh, hot topic, I will get to that in another post). Someone who won't judge. Oh! Here's a good one: Someone who is another woman!! Don't be shady, just saying.

(However, I have had meetings with Chaplains. I would try seeking counsel as well, people often use counseling as a last resort, but--pre-emptive attacks are way cooler and you keep the cards in your hand, you know?) I would always choose a Chaplain over a psychologist, because I have sat in psychologists' offices and thought, "You are spinning some crazy advice right now. I'm gonna pray for you." HAHA!)

I am the first say say... I need to follow my own advice. Yes, it's hard. It's intimidating. But it will help.




Where the heck was I going with all this?

Oh. That's right.

Philippians 4:4-9, my mantra for life. Read each verse and really meditate on what it means and how you are going to apply it!


4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

The word that wives hate to hear

1 Peter 3:1-7

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

There it is. The word that wives hate to hear: submit. Trust me when I say this--I am no expert at being a wife. Haha. I think I do well... but I am waiting to be called a "virtuous wife."

I feel like this conversation has come up time and time again & I've heard a lot of the same thing, "If my husband loved me the way Christ loves the Church, it would be easier to submit to him." When we read Ephesians 5, it isn't a condition. "Wives be subject to your own husbands..." (not) "...if he loves you as Christ loves the church." It just is. We are called to do so. Commanded to do so.

There are times when I totally fail at the whole listening thing. I blow off requests DJ makes. I weigh those requests... what is acceptable to me? What would I rather do? What's easiest to swallow? I make a lot of excuses for my I decide to follow him one day and not another.

Then I had this thought... if I want DJ to be the head of this household. If I want him to lead me. If I want him to reflect the way Jesus loves the Church, then I have to let him. In the requests that seem petty, small, unimportant... if I can't allow him to lead me in those requests, how can I expect him to lead me in the bigger picture? Not because he isn't capable, but because I don't let him?


I want to be led.
I want to completely trust my husband.
I want him to speak for me.
(Because... let's face it ladies, when DJ and I stand before Jesus, he will give an account for me. He is responsible for me. And that. Feels. Like. Freedom-but more on that in a later post.)

&& How can I make such bold statements when I fail to want the small things? I want my husband to protect me. I want him to worry about me. I want him to cherish me. && When he does those things (in whatever ways he does), I should simply... rejoice.

Philippians 4:4-8
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Father God help me to be the woman You have always intended me to be. Continue to seek after me, because I know your commands, I know your promises. Help me to love like You do, see the way You see, and serve the way Your Son served. Thank you for your forgiveness, compassion, and example. Bless this marriage. Give strength to the women who struggle to surrender it all to You and trust. In your Son's name I pray. Amen.

"She's Young, she knows everything..."

Recently, I have been feeling a little strange. Unexplainably restless and I haven't known how to fix it.

Last night, I was sitting at bible study and we were talking about knowing that God takes care of His children. And the study leader was addressing the youngins and said something to the effect of, "The longer you live, the more you see that God is real and He provides." Then he prompted the older people in the room to share some experiences in which this was true and how God takes care of us, so that we, the youngins, can undertand.

It felt a little condescending.
No. It felt a lot condescending.
Haha.

I understand my place most of the time. I am okay with being younger. I am okay with being a woman. I am okay with being a daughter. I am okay with being a student. However, I feel incredibly invalidated and patronized when older Christians assume that because of my age, I am "so young" and because I am so young, I don't, or can't understand God.

Then the question was asked, "So young ones, what did you gather from that story?" Without thinking, out it came. I said, "Nothing that I didn't already know." I laughed at the end to lighten the mood, I didn't mean to sound like such a smarty-pants, but there it was, I said it. (Everyone else was thinking it, I am sure.) Haha. And the storyteller said, "Oh yeah, she's young, she knows everything." And again, without thinking, out it came. I said, "Yeah. I do."

HAHA!
Oh. No.
Again. I laughed, to lighten the mood and to mask my smart-ass remark.

For the record. I don't know everything. But I wouldn't want people to assume that I know nothing. Did I step out of line when I said what I did last night? I am not sure. I am torn between lowering my head sheeplishly, or just sitting still, stand firm. I did not mean my snarky remarks in any mean spirit, I think I was just frustrated. I feel as though I have been told a few times in the past few months, "You're still young..." and each time, I feel the same pang of frustration.

Yes. I am 23 years old.
Does that hinder my intellect? No.
Does that affect my understanding of God's word. No.
Does it mean that God doesn't speak to me as much as he speaks to the 50 year old? No.

Because the number of years that I have lived on this earth don't interpret God's word. Those years don't feel God's love. The number of years don't mean anything to me.

God's word, His truth, His love, His sacrifice, His gift is for everyone, under any circumstance. The story God has given me has given me a certain lens to look at how He has worked in my life. And I have seen His providence, I have seen His faithfulness, I have seen how good He is.

If I died tomorrow--does that mean that I have missed out on God's love? God's provision? God's providence? God's blessings? No. No. No. No. No.

Yes. I am young. But should my faith be discredited?

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)

Praise God

Today I am thankful because... In a crowd full of faces, He sees me.
&& It is enough. More than enough.

Countdown Starts

DJ will be home soon. :) I miss him.