"She's Young, she knows everything..."

Recently, I have been feeling a little strange. Unexplainably restless and I haven't known how to fix it.

Last night, I was sitting at bible study and we were talking about knowing that God takes care of His children. And the study leader was addressing the youngins and said something to the effect of, "The longer you live, the more you see that God is real and He provides." Then he prompted the older people in the room to share some experiences in which this was true and how God takes care of us, so that we, the youngins, can undertand.

It felt a little condescending.
No. It felt a lot condescending.
Haha.

I understand my place most of the time. I am okay with being younger. I am okay with being a woman. I am okay with being a daughter. I am okay with being a student. However, I feel incredibly invalidated and patronized when older Christians assume that because of my age, I am "so young" and because I am so young, I don't, or can't understand God.

Then the question was asked, "So young ones, what did you gather from that story?" Without thinking, out it came. I said, "Nothing that I didn't already know." I laughed at the end to lighten the mood, I didn't mean to sound like such a smarty-pants, but there it was, I said it. (Everyone else was thinking it, I am sure.) Haha. And the storyteller said, "Oh yeah, she's young, she knows everything." And again, without thinking, out it came. I said, "Yeah. I do."

HAHA!
Oh. No.
Again. I laughed, to lighten the mood and to mask my smart-ass remark.

For the record. I don't know everything. But I wouldn't want people to assume that I know nothing. Did I step out of line when I said what I did last night? I am not sure. I am torn between lowering my head sheeplishly, or just sitting still, stand firm. I did not mean my snarky remarks in any mean spirit, I think I was just frustrated. I feel as though I have been told a few times in the past few months, "You're still young..." and each time, I feel the same pang of frustration.

Yes. I am 23 years old.
Does that hinder my intellect? No.
Does that affect my understanding of God's word. No.
Does it mean that God doesn't speak to me as much as he speaks to the 50 year old? No.

Because the number of years that I have lived on this earth don't interpret God's word. Those years don't feel God's love. The number of years don't mean anything to me.

God's word, His truth, His love, His sacrifice, His gift is for everyone, under any circumstance. The story God has given me has given me a certain lens to look at how He has worked in my life. And I have seen His providence, I have seen His faithfulness, I have seen how good He is.

If I died tomorrow--does that mean that I have missed out on God's love? God's provision? God's providence? God's blessings? No. No. No. No. No.

Yes. I am young. But should my faith be discredited?

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)