The word that wives hate to hear

1 Peter 3:1-7

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

There it is. The word that wives hate to hear: submit. Trust me when I say this--I am no expert at being a wife. Haha. I think I do well... but I am waiting to be called a "virtuous wife."

I feel like this conversation has come up time and time again & I've heard a lot of the same thing, "If my husband loved me the way Christ loves the Church, it would be easier to submit to him." When we read Ephesians 5, it isn't a condition. "Wives be subject to your own husbands..." (not) "...if he loves you as Christ loves the church." It just is. We are called to do so. Commanded to do so.

There are times when I totally fail at the whole listening thing. I blow off requests DJ makes. I weigh those requests... what is acceptable to me? What would I rather do? What's easiest to swallow? I make a lot of excuses for my I decide to follow him one day and not another.

Then I had this thought... if I want DJ to be the head of this household. If I want him to lead me. If I want him to reflect the way Jesus loves the Church, then I have to let him. In the requests that seem petty, small, unimportant... if I can't allow him to lead me in those requests, how can I expect him to lead me in the bigger picture? Not because he isn't capable, but because I don't let him?


I want to be led.
I want to completely trust my husband.
I want him to speak for me.
(Because... let's face it ladies, when DJ and I stand before Jesus, he will give an account for me. He is responsible for me. And that. Feels. Like. Freedom-but more on that in a later post.)

&& How can I make such bold statements when I fail to want the small things? I want my husband to protect me. I want him to worry about me. I want him to cherish me. && When he does those things (in whatever ways he does), I should simply... rejoice.

Philippians 4:4-8
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Father God help me to be the woman You have always intended me to be. Continue to seek after me, because I know your commands, I know your promises. Help me to love like You do, see the way You see, and serve the way Your Son served. Thank you for your forgiveness, compassion, and example. Bless this marriage. Give strength to the women who struggle to surrender it all to You and trust. In your Son's name I pray. Amen.

"She's Young, she knows everything..."

Recently, I have been feeling a little strange. Unexplainably restless and I haven't known how to fix it.

Last night, I was sitting at bible study and we were talking about knowing that God takes care of His children. And the study leader was addressing the youngins and said something to the effect of, "The longer you live, the more you see that God is real and He provides." Then he prompted the older people in the room to share some experiences in which this was true and how God takes care of us, so that we, the youngins, can undertand.

It felt a little condescending.
No. It felt a lot condescending.
Haha.

I understand my place most of the time. I am okay with being younger. I am okay with being a woman. I am okay with being a daughter. I am okay with being a student. However, I feel incredibly invalidated and patronized when older Christians assume that because of my age, I am "so young" and because I am so young, I don't, or can't understand God.

Then the question was asked, "So young ones, what did you gather from that story?" Without thinking, out it came. I said, "Nothing that I didn't already know." I laughed at the end to lighten the mood, I didn't mean to sound like such a smarty-pants, but there it was, I said it. (Everyone else was thinking it, I am sure.) Haha. And the storyteller said, "Oh yeah, she's young, she knows everything." And again, without thinking, out it came. I said, "Yeah. I do."

HAHA!
Oh. No.
Again. I laughed, to lighten the mood and to mask my smart-ass remark.

For the record. I don't know everything. But I wouldn't want people to assume that I know nothing. Did I step out of line when I said what I did last night? I am not sure. I am torn between lowering my head sheeplishly, or just sitting still, stand firm. I did not mean my snarky remarks in any mean spirit, I think I was just frustrated. I feel as though I have been told a few times in the past few months, "You're still young..." and each time, I feel the same pang of frustration.

Yes. I am 23 years old.
Does that hinder my intellect? No.
Does that affect my understanding of God's word. No.
Does it mean that God doesn't speak to me as much as he speaks to the 50 year old? No.

Because the number of years that I have lived on this earth don't interpret God's word. Those years don't feel God's love. The number of years don't mean anything to me.

God's word, His truth, His love, His sacrifice, His gift is for everyone, under any circumstance. The story God has given me has given me a certain lens to look at how He has worked in my life. And I have seen His providence, I have seen His faithfulness, I have seen how good He is.

If I died tomorrow--does that mean that I have missed out on God's love? God's provision? God's providence? God's blessings? No. No. No. No. No.

Yes. I am young. But should my faith be discredited?

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)